the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize