When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
