he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm really busy with my period
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