Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
