fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize