Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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