Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
