I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
