You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
