well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
