great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
