Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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