Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're a waste of cheezeits
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Randomize