Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
