why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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