Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
