am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
