The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
