East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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