he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
