According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
