So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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