did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
