I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize