She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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