I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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