I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
