ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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