why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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