it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
