What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
