I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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