Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
