I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
