Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I love you.
Bad choice
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize