I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
