Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
