KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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