I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
