I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
