can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
