I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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