PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's just like the Real World with babies
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
