OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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