Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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