I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
