Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
