Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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