I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
