So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
