I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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