Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
