You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
