She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
