how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
