so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
