So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
