i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
