she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
