so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
3 2 1 whiskey
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
