i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
