Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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