you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
