C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
