i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
