just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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