i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
