What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
