i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
