I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
