True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she told me i tasted like america
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i now understand why vodka
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize