she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
