and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
