And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
