THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Let's get the cat blown out
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
