So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
