need another drink. this is the easiest way
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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